


My Little Twilight: Malistaire is Magic

by julysunicorn



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Betrayal, Discord was a sex worker, robbed of magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28167342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julysunicorn/pseuds/julysunicorn
Summary: After Twilight receives world shattering news from Princess Celestia and a dark forboding figure shows up at the castle threatening doom in his wake, can Twilight and her best friends band together to learn a completely different kind of magic to save Equestria? What tricks does the old man have up his sleeve, and what is Pinkie Pie hiding from the others?
Comments: 2





	1. Celestia's Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone and welcome to my first crossover! :D i've had a sort of writers block' for a little while and started this story as an exercise and i figured i'd publish it! c: it's also helped me get used to writing crossovers which ill need for the second arc of henna who! so i hope you enjoy it, cronstrucive critique and comments welcome

my little twilight: malistaire is magic

chapter one: celestia's surprise

little twilight sparkle was doing some spring cleaning before her queen and taskmaster princess celestia came to her house for her monthly visit to discuss twilight's studies and latest discoveries on the elements of harmony and luna's mischief and pinkie pie's baking.

twilight used her tail to swisdh away cobwebs and the hairy spiders living on them. she dusted them out of her cupboard, her fridge, and her freshly baked cupcakes that pinkie sent to her that morning. next the purple unicorn trotted into her bathroom and lifted the lid on the toilet to reveal a huge thick web with a giant hairy spider on it! it had 16 legs and thirty eyes and had a stinger coming out of it's butt! (have you ever found a spider in your toilet? i did once well it wasn't MY toilet it was in a portajohn last month but i looked inside (i didn't have to lift the lid someone had already stolen it) and there wAs (sorry caps) a HUGE SPIDER like the SIZE OF A TARANTALA it was black and HAD A RED HOURGLASS ON ITS REAR END it was probably SUPER DEADLY and had fangs the size of ivermectin syringes and it hissed at me when i came close! SO I looked in the garbage bin and saw a huge swirly lollipop so i grabbed the lollipop and smackd the spidur\\\er oh my gosh im getting all shaky just remembering it and i squshd it, dropped the lolliopp in the toilet and ran away and never went back!)

"die bug!" twilight shrieked even though spiders aren't bugs they're arachnids just like ticks and lifted a huge swirly lollipop with her tail and smacked the spider and it died to pieces.

"well i think that's everything" said twilight and walked into her living room and her whole house was sparkling. it also was lemon scented and spike started sneezing because he was allergic to lemons. then the doorbell rang!

"I'LL GET IT" twilight sang all ladylike and galloped to the door and opened it with her horse teeth. standing out side was princess celestia!

"hello princess celestia this is my home" twilight said showing her around.

"hello my bastard child." said princess celestia regally.

twilight stopped dead in her tracks but thankfully her heart didn't actually stop. "wh... what did you just call me?"

"twilight." princess celestia said walking up to the tiny mare. "it is time for you to learn that you are actusally my daughter."

"what do you mean?!" twilight shouted, running around her house in a panic. "no, my parents are dead!"

"that's what i told you to think until you were ready for the traumatic truth." said princess celestia.

"well, then... tell me everything." twilight demanded.

"all in due time. right now you must accompany me to the castle for your coronation ceremony." said princess celestia.

so they took a chariot to the castle and all the ponies were there. including apple jack, rarity, pinkie pie, rainbow dash, twilight sparklie, and fluttershy. except pinkie pie wasn't there. the cutie mark crusaders were also there even though they already had their cutie marks so they really just kept the name so no one would get confused. princess luna was ponying the mike.

"mike check 1 2, hey hey, this is p-loon in the house, we've got some illin' stuff lined up for you homies tonight" she said.

"GET OFF THE SATGE" screamed dj pon3.

princess luna scoffed with power and discord appeared next to her.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK THAT WAY TO MY WIFE!" he said (they got married the spring before, right in the garden where discord used to be stoned, it was so romantic!) and used his magic to vaprioze dj pon3 into itty bitty chunks and it sounded like a houdini splicer disappearing. but everyone glared at him so he put the pony back together but in the shape of a snowman.

then princess celestia and twilight sparjle appeared on the stage when the red curtain was pulled. they were standing with their heads high and wearing royalty capes.

"hey, is that twilight?" asked apple jack.

"yeah, it is!" said rarity. "is she... wearing a cape?"

"twilight is royalty?! shrieked rainbow dash. i mean sure twilight's brother shining sentry was married to princess cadance who was princess celestia's aunt or something but twilight was never considered royalty because she was too young and nerdy and ugly.

twilight waved to her friends with a swish of her tail which would've been acceptable in ponyville but they were in canterlot and there it means kiss my ass and a lot of ponies got offendeded. princess celestia stopped at the end of the stage and twilight stood in front of her.

"ladies and gentlecoats of equestria, i have a confession to make... twilight sparklie is my illegitimate daughter."

the audience gasped in surprise. then they started cheering and throwing confetti and balloons rained down from the ceiling and one stuck out of pinkie pie's butt. or at least it would have had she been there.

princess celestia turned to her daughter with a crown and purple wings in her mouth. "twilight, my daughter, are you ready to become a princess?"

"yes!" said twilight, bouncing excitedly.

"okay, hold still while i put the crown on you, also the wings are going to hurt when they knit into your skin-"

suddenly there was a bright flash of lightning and a boom of thunder and it started raining outside AND inside because big macintosh wet himself from fear, and a sinister figure slid past the window outside.

"who was that?!" shkreamed twilight sparkle.

suddenly, with another flash of lightning and pinkie screaming, the dark figure appeared on the stage, between twilight and princess celestia! twilight backed away in fear at the person before her. he was old and cold, with pale deathly skinly and a big nose, and had a ponytail and braids and had a long twirly mustache and goatie! he was also wearing a long black dress!

"OH NO!" princess celestia screamed. "IT'S THE MASTER!"

"not quite, princess" growled the man. he looked at twilight and his expression filled with hatred. "YOU!"

"huh?" twilight asked before being launched off the stage with a burst of magic dust that smelled of old poerson. she slammed into the far wall and fell into the punch bowl.

"stop this madness!" princess celestia demanded, stepping up to the man.

"make me!" he said.

"who are you, and what do you want?" twilight asked, trotting back up to the stage and the punch bowl was stuck to her butt.

"i am malistaire drake, death school professor extraordinaire at ravenwood, master of necromancy, and i demand all of the royal family's magic be transferred to ME!" the old man said.

"no" said princess celestia, crossing her hooves.

"why... NOOOOT?!" malistaire screamed, giving himself a headache and a vein popped out of his temple.

"what do you plan on doing with that kind of power?" princess celestia asked.

"i will use it to become allpowerful and handsome and conjure the perfect cupcake to be my friend and bring back my beloved wif sylvia, who you should very well know!" malistaire said and his face contorted something awful, loking full of malice and hate, before he started laughing evily and more lightning flashed outside.

"you'll never get that kind of power." said princess celestia proudly.

"FINE," sneered malistaire. "you've left me no choice. i'll help myself to the purple unicorn's magic!" he said and pulled the magic out of twilight and it hurt and she screamed and it looked like cotton candy or toy stuffing. malistaire absorbed it and started laughing again.

twilight shook on her feet and tried to stop him, but her horn wasn't working anymore! "my horn! it's not working!" she saod.

"that's because you have no more magic!" malistaire said, then stopped laughing "i'm out of here." he opened up a portal to somewhere. "princess celestia, you have one month to either surrender your kingdom's magic, or i will obliterate equestria into a colorful slurry!" he said and walked through the portal but because of the length of his threat it closed too soon and his butt cheeks were cut off and they fell to the floor and they could all hear him screaming from wherever he was.

"what do we do know?!" all the ponies asked, scared, milling around like spooked horses.

twilight picked up the butt cheeks with her hooves. "i... don't know."

"i do." said princess celestia. "twilight, i'm going to need to send you and your friends on a little mission."

END OF CHAPTER ONE~


	2. Pinkie Pie's Pickle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello there everyone! c: here's the second chapter of my little twilight! i hope you're all enjoying it! just so you know though this story will be significantly shorter than my others because it's really meant for practice. so it will probably only go for another 3 chapters or so. then i'll be back in full swing with henna who and the gaster master again c:

chapter 2: pinkie pies pickle

pinkamena pie was sitting across from discord at the dragonequus' o=house, drinking tea. the dragonequus looked at her, patiently. "well, go on."

pinkie swallowed nervously before speaking. "the cakes asked me to meet them at their house today, and said they had an important question to ask me. so i went and..."

"and?" discord encouraged, nodding.

"have you heard about how mr and mrs cake have been trying to have a foal?"

"well, i guess i've listened to a bit of the neighborhood gossip" said discord, rolling his eyes. in reality he was the biggest rumor mill in town and gossiped to every pony who would listen. he even once started a rumor that pinkie pie made a deal with flutter shy to house flutter shys rats in the cakes' shop during thw winter and business was booming for christmas cookies. but pinkie pie didn't need to know that now.

"nurse redheart says they can't have a foal. mrs cake is a virgin" said pinkie pie loking into her teacup sadly.

"how unfortunate," said discord. he took a loud sip of his tea and then bit into the teacup, blue sparkling eyes shifting around the room.

"yeah" said pinkie pie. she looked up at him. "they want me to be their surrogate."

discord spat his tea all over the coffee table, even though that's a different beverage entirely and you're not required to only drink coffee on it so why do they call it that?! anyway "their surrogate?!" sputtered sidcord.

"yes" said pinkie, looking uncomfortable. "and mr cake wants to conceive the foal naturally."

"well, what's wrong with that?" questioned discord.

"im not comfortable having sex with a stranger," said pinkie pie. in fact it made her so uncomfortable the only thing that would have made her more uncomfortable was seeing mikey the ninja turtle give birth to a pizza, but she decided not to tell discord this. (i sometimes have visions of this, it's very distressing especially since mikey reminds me of my boyfriend :()

"well pinkie i used to be a sex worker, and i've slept with numerous strangers," said discord, "i wouldnt mind helping you get over that"

"thats very kind of you." said pinkie. "but i think i need time to think everything through"

"of course, my dear," said discord, and looked at her teacup from across the room with his huge neck/. "oh my, you're out of tea! i'll go fetch you some more," he said and took her teacup and scurried into the kitchen.

ponky pin gazed out the window. it was raining lightly outside, real rain, not the chocolate swill discord makes fall from the sky. lightning was beginning to flash faintly in the distance. in the direction of the castle.

pinkie pie sighed. she'd been invited to the castle for some party or something (she could never tell because princess luna was a renowned party animal and would throw everything from birthday parties to pool parties to tubberware parties) but she didn't go because the cakes wanted to speak with her about their conception problems and how they wanted pinkie pie to have sex with carrot and carry their horse child. so she wound up missing it.

"peenkoi uym bahck!" said discord, trying to sound like the doctor to make pinkie feel better, but all it did was remind her of the cakes' doctor and she got uncomfortable again so he cleared his throat in embarrassment. "i have your tea OH SWEET CELESTIA!"

"discord?!" pinkie asked, scared. she bounced out of her chair and over to him. "are you okay?!"

"somethings happening at the castle!" said discord. "there's an old, ugly man there... and he just hurt twilight! celestia needs you RIGHT NOW!"

"i'm on my way!" pinkie said, swishing her tail at discord as a thank you for the tea and talking but he took it to mean that he would be getting some sweet pink booty later. at the caslte pinkie broke through the front doors to find several ponies looking scared and princess celestia looking panicked and twilight sparkle holding a pair of disembodied ass cheaks.

"WHAT THE FUDGE HAPPENED IN HRER?!" pinkie asked, not expecting twilight to be cradling someone's detached hiney in her hooves. it was cold and clammy.

"an old enemy of mine has returned." said princess celestia. "twilight, gather your friends and meet me in my study. and bring the backside."

twlight put the hiney in her saddlebag and rounded up her friends. they waited outside princess celestia's study for several minutes as the princess tidied up and put away her chickens. after a few minutes she ushered the mares and the hoyney into her inner sanctum.

"girls, the man who just attacked us is a very old enemy of mine," priencess celestia explained. "in order to defeat him and keep equestria safe, i'm going to need you to go somewhere i used to spend a lot of time: ravenwood."

the ponies mumbled in confusion. "ravenwood? where's that?" asked flutter shy.

"a magic school run and attended mostly by humans. it's where malistaire worked and the best place for you to gather clues about what he plans on doing next and how to combat him. especially since twilight has lost her powers."

"oh no twilight!" said pinkie.

"it's okay, pinkie, i'm fine," said twilight and smiled at her friend.

"hopefully old ambrose can help you learn human magic, twilight, while you're there. here's the spell to teleport to ravenwood" said celestia and she handed it to rarity. "even though twilight is a much better student and my personal favorite as well as illegitimate child the spell is simple enough for you rarity."

"thank you your highness" said rarity and internally swore celestia out.

"well, i guess we better get going" said twilight.

"hold on," said princess celestia, and she put together a suitcase for the mares. "you'll get hungry, let me pack you some sustenance for your journey," she said, and packed a chicken, 3 pounds of mashed potatoes, a gravy boat, and a candy bar for them all to share, because friendship is magic.

"here, twilight, hand me the anus." demanded princess celestia. twilight passed her the noyney and the princess nestled it between the chicken and gravy. "keep it with you, it might help you find malistaire."

"yes ma'am." said twilight, and she loaded the suitcase onto her back. "ready rarity?"

"indeed," said rarity, and began reciting the spell while her horn glowed. "unicornius healthum!"

the mares glowed, then vanished in a blinding sparkling light.

END POF CHAPTER TWO~


	3. I Am Ambrose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! ugh im so sorry for this chapter! D: so what happened was, several months ago (right before my older brother moved back in) my younger brother came into my room asking where his toriel plush was. i said i didnt know and asked him to leave because i wads writing. next thing i knew he PICKED UP MY LAPTOP AND THREW IT OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW (im on the second floor!) but thankfully it still booted up! so i went and wrote this chapter but the bad thing was i didn't notice until i finished writing it that my laptop's a key was broken! :c so not only did i need a new window but i needed a mew keyboard as well. the whole thing made me really sad and i just didn't feel like updating for a while. now i have a new keyboard and a new window and a new nephew and it's all good! so here's the new chapter! :D enjoy!

chpter 3: i m mbrose

the mres rrived in the commons, right outsdie merle mbrose's crstle. "well this looks like the plce," sid twilight.

"no doubt bout it sugrcube" sid pple jck, looking t the big sign tht sid MERLE MBROSE in big bold letters tht twilight just conveniently missed.

"sheesh twilight youre such n idiot" mocked rinbow dsh, flipping her forelock with tht "del with it botch" ttitude."

"shut up rindbow hoe!" snpped twilight, nd she kicked rinbow in the chops!

rinbow flew bck, stonished t wht her only treu friend hd done. (no one else relly liked rinbow, except mybe pplejck, who would drw romntic pictures of them in sweet pple cres doing the nsty nd hd secret shrine to her in her room) she ws lso bleeding rinbow color, she looked like some kind of godsdess from finl fntsy or something like tht. it ws the only wy she could express her true pin.

"you... you wretched cn of beef!" rinbow shouted, nd the other mres gsped in horror. referring to horse met ws TBOO in equestri. offendeded, she flew wy nd left her friends to rof.

"nice going twilight, youy chsed her off" snrked rrity.

"fock you" sid twiligt nd she trotted into mbrose's bode. the other mres looked t echother unesily. twilight never got upset like this, unless she ws lte in sending her dily letter to celesti, or lte with somethign else. t loss for words, they silently followed their friend inside.

beyond the lrge wooden doors, there lid study, full of books nd even weird crystl bll with imges floting in it. behind lrge wooden desk there bent n old mn, quite old, in fct, tht his skin wrinkles were flying in the breeze of his desk fn nd it ws cusing dust to fll out of them. he ws rerrnging books on the shelf nd didnt her the mres come in.

"um, excuse me?" sked twilight, but the mn didn't move. "hello? merle mbrose?" she begn tpping her hoof on the desk, but still no response. "MERLE F MBROSE, WILL YOU TURN YOUR GED SS ROUND ND LOOK T ME?!"

MBROSE stood up to fst nd hit his hed into the shelf bove, which (no one knew t the time) would result in brin dmge tht would eventully kill him, but like i sid he didn't know then. upon seeing the ponies, he smiled widely nd sid, "oh, hello! re you new students?

"not quite," splined twilight, "my nme is twilight, these re my friends, pplejck, rsritry, pinkie pie, nd sluttershy. princess celesti sent us here so we cn stop mlistire's rmpge."

"oh! you must be her dughter!" sid mbrose, smiling cheerfully. "she's told me so much bout you."

twilight blushed, "oh, i didnt know"

mbrose set his hnds on his hips. "i pprecite you ll coming here, we could certinly use the help. mlistires unded forces re wreking hvoc! if you help us curb the invsion, i'm sure it'll led you right to mlistire, thus solving both of our problems."

"sure!" sid pplejck. "we'd love to help y out."

"mrvelous," sid mbrose "go into rvenwood nd let the professors help you find suitble mgic schools."

"thnks" sid the mres nd they went into rvenwood nd met the professors who hit it off with them becuse they were ll my little pony fns nd they ll becme fst friends. except cyrus who ws md brony nd wnted nothing to do with them.

"fluttsershy," sid proff moulind woo, "i think your clm, sweet demenor would be perfect for the pth of life."

"oh do you rlly think so" sid flutter shyly. she thus becme theurgust nd wore green ht nd got twiglike wnd.

"nd rrity, i think ice would be perfect mtch for your love of sprklyness!" sid proff greyrose.

"oh wow! tht sounds lovely!" sid rrity.

"no, ice would be good mtch becuse you're cold herted bitch," sid pplejck. rrity gsped in shock but proff flm rised her eyebrows.

"my my, wht hot temper," she sid. "fire seems like the right school for you, miss pplejck."

"well, cowbung!" sid pplejck, jumping nd clicking her hooves in the ir, reciting the ninj turtles fvorite ctchphrse. "fire sounds like the bees knees!"

smll green frog in purple trench cot like the focking joker hopped up to twilight. "twilight, your knck for cdemics nd knowledge would be perfectly suited for storm, but proff wethersfield nd i greed tht becuse of your sttus of chief friendship counsellor of equestri, you should study blnce mgic insted."

"blnce, eh?" twilight sid. "well, im not too sure, but if tht's wht you think is best. i persolly wnted to join storm becuse they're so frekin powerful"

"yeh thts why everyone chooses storm" sid proff blestrom. "but we hve so mny students lredy enrolled in storm tht we hve to spred the newcomers out little."

JUST THEN, WITH NO WRNING WHTSOEVER, pinky frted nd blew confetti ll over brtleby. it spooked everyone, minly brtleby, who gsped nd scremed in horror nd hurt.

"good griffons!" sid cyrus, wlking over to pinkie with his finger outstretched, " you... you just frted on brtleby!"

"uhh, i... i didn't men it!" pinkie swore.

"you re the one! the one from my old books!" cyrus sid, flling to his knees. "the one who would crft the strongest frt the spirl hs ever known!" cyrus embrced pinkie in his swety old rms. "the frtleby! proffessors, she hs done it! THE FRTLEBY!"

ll the other proffessors looked down on the sorry old mn like he hd finlly gone insne. greenboy finlly sid, "so... she belongs in storm?"

"no!" sid cyrus, gleefully. "myth!"

"yuck!" sid proff blestrom, since storm mgic ws the rch enemy of myth mgic. this ment wr.

"well, now tht you ll hve your wnds nd know which spells to use, you'd better get out to triton venue, i her thts where ll the unded is concentrted" sid proff greyrose.

"lright then!" sid twilight, nd she turned to her friends. "you herd her, girls! let's go!"

menwhile, on triton venue, rinbow dsh ws crying under gutter tht ws spillng rinwter on her. she looked like she ws doing music video for pop song from the 90s. drk figure wlked up to her.

"excuse me, miss" he sid. "re you lright?"

"sniff, yeh," she sid, putting her hoof down nd wy from her swollen jw. "my friend just kicked me in the jw is ll"

"GRET BEL LUGOSI" the mn sid, jumping bck t the softbll sized lump on the mre's mndible. it ws most likely infected. "err, hem, wht i men is, some frined you must hve." he knelt beside her.

"yeh," sid rindow bsh, "she's rel mnure pile."

"why don't you just leve her?" he suggested. rinbow dsh looked t him s he stood up. he ws relly, relly tll. nd hndsome.

"uh... thing is i'm sort of duty bound to ssist her... it's kind of complicted..." sid rinbow dsh.

"who cres bout duty?" the mn sked. "she certinly doesn't. who trets their friends like tht nyhoo?"

rinbow dsh thought for minute, then picked up her hed. "you're right!"

"join me, rinbow dsh," sid mlistire, stretching his hnd out to her. "join me, nd let us destroy this plce... nd your friend for good mesure."

rinbow dhs looked t the hnd, then the mn, dumbfounded. destroy wizrd city, nd twilight? ws tht not over the top? surely they could work things out, being such good friends nd ll...

no.

"let's do this," she finlly sid, locking her hoof in the mn's hnd.

END OF CHPTER THREE~


	4. Celestia's Soliloquy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i worked really hard to make sure this chapter had as few typos as possible! c: im going to talk to my english teacher on monday for some tips, he asked me to write a short essay for him so he can help me with my writing problems, so hopfully it will get better soon! if i get the chance there might also be a second chapter of this out tomorrow but i have to rest my typing hands for a awhile haha! anyway enjoy! :D OH SHIT OOPS OH FOCK NO

chapter 4: celestia's soliloquy

"huh, what?" princess celestia gasped, waking up on her throne. it was the middle of the night.. had she fallen asleep there again?

"hrmph" she said, scooting herself off the throne and walking out of the throne room, tushy cold. she nodded to her royal guards as she left the room to hit the hay and go to bed.

ceelestia always poured herself a glass of fermented hay before bed. they say that a glass of fermented hay every day is good for your health, but that you also shouldn't drive after drinking it. it also makes you drowsy and sometimes feel a little fnny, but it also gets better with age, sort of like sex. at least that's what my grandma tells me, and grandmas never lie.

so celestia went into the kitchen and opened her fermented hay cabinet. she took out a bottle of marelot, circa 1929, and poured a glass for herself in her favorite my little pony plastic mug, with a print of all the mane six on it. after putting away the bottle she used her magic to carry the wine glass into her room, where she sat in bed and turned on her soap operas which she recorded on her dvr. right after she started up the next episode of days of our lives, however, princess luna, her half sister, entered her room.

"oh, celestia!" she said, surprised. "i didn't know you were in bed! uh... so, who's in your study?"

"what? what are you tsalking about, luna?" celestia asked, pausing her stories. "i haven't been to my study since this morning, after which i had meetings in the throne room for the rest of the day."

"... what?!" luna jumped. "but, but you were there to send twilight sparkle and her friends off to ravenwood!"

"RAVENWOOD?!" celestia gasped, startled. slowly gaining control of her panic attack, she got up. "i'm going to my study, i mustn't be disturbed"

"why? what are you doing?!" luna asked.

"it's nothing, luna, just... go to bed, i'll see you in the morning."

"but-"

celestia narrowed her eyes. "oh, luna? just WHAT were you going to do in my room, anyhow?"

luna started shaking and sweating. she looked around, nervously. "uh, okay, i'll go to my room... g-goodnight, sister!" she said, and bolted out of there and into her own room.

with luna tucked in, celestia galloped to her study. there, at her desk, was exactly what she expected: her cardboard cutout of herself.

"you!" celestia snapped, galloping over to the cutout, picking it up in her hooves nad shaking it. "i told you never to mention ravenwood to her! why hav you disobeyed me?!"

"it had to" said a familiar voice in the doorway. celstia looked up. it was discord.

"YOU enchanted my cardboard cutout to send twilight to ravenwood, didn't you!" celestia accused.

"no, not this time, princess." discord said, walking in. ever since princess luna married him, he'd been living at the castle, where he had a solid roof over his head and warm food in his tummy. he did get the former torture chamber now basement all to himself, though, so he got to do all his crazy chaos stuff down there, away from the more culturred folk. celestia wasn;t entirely happy about him living there, but she shared the castle with luna and just had to deal with it. "while you were napping in the throne room, malistaire drake showed up to crash twilight's coronation. your cutout had no choice but to send her to combat the threat."

celestia looked terrified. "did... she tell her everything?"

"no," discord said, "but if the filly's in ravenwood, it's only a matter of tiem before she learns the whole story, you know that."

"you're right..." celestia sighed, falling into her desk chair. dsicord sat across from her. "i tried to protect her from this..."

"you did your best. kids grow up and learn these things on their own. maybe itll be a good thing that she finds out."

"maybe..." celestia said, sadly. "que sera sera"

meanwhile, twilight sparkle, rariry, pinkie pie, fluttershy, and applejack had just reached triton avenue. i was raining and cold, but the mares had thick coats so they weren't bothered, except rarity, who is of the arabian horse breed and had a thinner coat best suited for warmer climates, so applejack gave her her hat to wear to keep her warm. pinkie and fluttershy looked at each other, confused. did they like each other?

twilight led the charge down the sidewalk, and said "huh it seems pretty calm around here, ambrose must not know what he's talking about-" she said, accidentally stepping off the sidealk and a hideous corpse burst out of the road and surprised her! it had three toes on each foot, and carried a shovel!

"EEAK!" rarity screamed and hid behind applejack. "KEEP I AWAY FROM ME!"

"HUURRRRRRHHH" groganed the corpse. suddenly, twilight and all her friends were pulled into a dueling circle in the middle of the street!

"what kind of witchcraft is this?!" fluttershy said scared,

"it's a dueling circle, which is how we use magic round these parts" said twilight educatedly.

"oh ok" said fluttershy and angrily cast seraph at the rotting fodder.

"bla bla bla!" said lady oriel before smacking the rotting foodder with her sword.

"uh, twilight, how'dya know that?" asked applejack.

twilight opened her mouth, but closed it in shock. "i... don't know."

the rotting fodder cast thunder snake at fluttershy to get back at her but it didn't hurt much, so she cast triage to heal back the little bit she lost. rarity cast ice beetle and applejack cast fire elf, pinkie passed because she needed pips.

"i'll save you pinkie!" twilight assured and cast power play. next round, everyone got a power pip, which was especially helpful for fluttershy because she'd spent all her pips on seraph (triage doesn't cost any pips).

"oh boy!" pinkie pie said happily, and cast cyclops. the cyclops appeared in the middle of the dueling circle, carrying a hammer, looking scary as heck.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" it grunted, flexing its muscles in front of the ritting fodder, who looked like he was thinking oh this is so not good. the cyclops threw its hammer back, flashing the rotting fodder with the image of what was under his skirt, a truly horrifying sight, cyclops penis, not something you want to see before you eat. yet there it was, in the darkness. staring into the rotting fodder's soul.

the cyclops brought his hammer down on the rotting fodder and smushed him, thus winning the fight for the mares, but when he brought his hammer down he was lifted into the air a bit and flashed the mares too, but they all covered their eyes (except innocent fluttershy, who didn't react in time) the dueling circle faded away and the mares ran to the sidewalk to avoid getting into another fight. just then a little message bubbled on twilight's nanocom.

"oh, you are in a monster infested area, stay on the sidewalks so you dont get caught" said proff greyrose.

"gee, thanks ya old bag, that would've been helpful ten minutes ago!"twilight snapped.

"twi, look!" said applejack, pointing to a mysterious figure running down the sidewalk further down the road. he or she was wearing a cloak and no one could see just who or what this figure was.

the mares followed it down to the end of the street, where it was gone. however, before them was a cave mouth, covered in iron bars, a few of which had been cut and bent outwards to allow entry.

"this don't look good, twi," applejack said honestly. "whatever that thing was mustve known we were watchin', and wanted us to follow it into that cave. it might be dangerous... are you sure you want to go in?"

twilight sparkle thought a moment. "yes, we have to. this person wants to show us something so badly? best not keep our host waiting." she said, and trotted defiantly inside, and all her friends followed.

the cave was spooky inside, like a haunted house, but only if it wasn't just a house, but a small VILLAGE. there was an entire town in here, probably once homes to many, now falling apart and empty. there was a haunting feeling in the air, and in the street, where several more rotting fodders and weird living scarecrows roamed.

"wow, this place is spooooky," said pinkie pie.

"yeah," applejack said, looking around.

the mares walked a little further down the street, and noticed a tower at the end, before another mouth to the cave with a waterfall running through.

"whoever that person was must be waiting in there," surmised twilight.

"oh? and just how do you know that, smart ass?" rarity asked.

"because important npcs and items are always in towers," said twilight, "have you ever played this game?!"

rarity wasnt sure how to respond so she didn't. twilight was getting scarier and scarier with each passing second.

END OF CHAPTER FOUR~


	5. Death of a Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good afternoon everyone! c: well like i said i gave my essay to my english professor, this chapter is actually what i wrote for him. i figured i would save time by making my essay one of the upcoming chapters to my story. he gave me a b+, but said i need reading glasses! :o ive never had glasses before but it was either that or contacts. so now i have to see the opteometroist. he also didn't really like the story but he doesnt like my little pony anyway so. but a few of my classmates asked to read it as well so i've got some requested ponies for upcoming chapters! :D keep an eye out for your favorites! anyway please enjoy! :D

chapter fiveL death of a friend

the mares made their way down the street, carfeully avoiding the monsters as they rushed past. at least the undead weren't the only ones livjng here: there was a whole colony of giant spiders scattered on werbs over the houses, and they hissed at the mares as they went by. their bpodies were 1 and a half feet long, and their legspans were foive feet. fluttershy accidently flew into one of their webs, and the silk was strong as dental floss man! it could easily wrap up a human, and rarity couldve sworn she saw a humanoid fiugre wrapped up in spider silk in the shadows...

the ponies finally reached the tower, which was on its own little isalnd off the village, connected via a tiny stone bridge. there were graves next to the tower and fluttershy started crying, remembering that she forgot to feed her pets before she left ponylville.

"y'all ready for this?" apple jack asked, hoof on the door.

"yes" they all said, except twilight, who was silent.

applejack looked back at her friend. "you alright?"

"yeah," twilight insisted. "i'll be fine. let's just get this over with."

spplejack complied and opened the door. twilight just couldnt puther hoiof on it... something felt bad about this place.

the mares stepped inside. it was pretty well lit inside from the light from outsaide outside. there were also more dpiders inside and it freaked rarity ou so applejack hugged her tightly. applejack's musculart heaving horse chest calmed rarity down instantly.

"hello?" aled twilight.

nothing... the ponies stepped a little farther inside. then pjunkie pie tripped on a spider and fell over!

"INTRUDEEEERS!" hissed something evil.

"that don't sound good!" apple jack said.

suddenly a black mist showed up in the middle of the room, and a grim reaper like figure with wingx appaerd inside!

"who are you?" twilight demanded.

"I AM LOOOORRD NIGHTSHAAAAAADE!" boomed the skelethreat. "I WAS MALISTAIRE'S RIGHT HAND MAN... AND I HAVE BEEN TASKED WITH DESTROYING YOU POOOOONIES AND KEEPING YOU FROM FOILING OUR PLAAAAAAN!"

"was?" twilight asked. "who's the right hand man now?"

"me." said a voice in the darkness.

twilight and her friends looked toward the voice... and saw the mysterious figure who led them to the cave in the furst place!

"who are you?" pinkie asked, nervous.

"really, pinkie?" the figuer asked, sounding unamused. "it's been two hours and you've already forgotten your own FRIEND?!" said and ripped off the cloak. it was rainbow dash!

"rainbow dash?" apple jack said, confused. "whaddarya doin, workin with this no good wraith?"

"look no furhter than our resident friendship counselor!" rainbow dash shouted, pointer hoff at twilight. "she kicked me in the freakin chops, and ive had it with being just an add on to her heroism all the time! i dont deserve to play second fiddle to a backstabbing jerk like her!"

twilight looked sad and foight back tears. "rainbow dash... i... i didnt mean to..."

"FOCK YOU!" rainbow dash shouted, tears running down her blue cheeks. "i'm no longer rainbow dash... i am... RAINBOW DEATH!" she shouted, streatching her arms out and turning grayscaled all over. her body was black and her mane and tail were a rainbow of grays, like rainbow the clown.

rainbow's friends weere terrified at the rranfforsmation, and shrieked in fear. a dueling ciurcle glowed to life on the floor and eryone kjoined.

this was the ponies first time fighting a boss, so it was going to be tricky. but it was still five against two. lord nightashade cast himself and hit pinkie for 200 damage points but for pinkie that was nothing. rainbow death cast scarecrow and hit everyone for 300 damage points and then pinkie started tohurt.

"coming ponkie" said fluterhsy and cast unicorn. shining sentry, twilight's brother, showed up and healed evreypone for 250 points. but she lost all her pips and twilight hadn't pulled powerplay into her deck yet!

applejack passed but rarity got a power pip in the beginning and cast ice snake. it bit rainbow dash in the neck, but she was already imbued with the power of necromancy and it didnt hurt!

"malistaire wont like you messing me up," rainbow death warned.

"you shouldnt be working eith ihm, rainbow!" rarity warned. "he's evil! like socks and sandals!"

"HEY!" lord nightsdhade said. "I'M WEARINT SOCKS ANDS A SDSADHSNDSDLKS!" (oh no im so sorry! i was workingr until late at night and fell aslep at my desk. i meant to say, "i'm wqearing socks and sandsals!" thank you! c:) ps does the smilie with the closing parenthesis look like a caveman to you?

lord nightsahde lifted his skirt and showed off his socks and sandals. after rainbow dash cast ice shield n herself lord nightsahde angrily cast bone dragon on all the marees! it wouldve been instadeath, but he neglected to notice that twilight had cast death shield on all her friedns! the pure power of freindsdhip absorped all the damge from the dragon.

"big mistake, bone bitch." twilight said and cast judgement! she had only a few pips but lord nightshade is like the weakest boss but rattleboines is even worse, everyone hates him. but judgement with three pips was more than enough to blow lord nightshade down.

"AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!" he hissed, in severe pain

rainbow death winced against the force of judgement, but when the attack was ovur she ran to lord nightshade and held him in her arms. he was weak, but if she got him to malistaire soon, he might live.

"please, rainbow!" twilight pled with her friend, "come back, i'm so sorry! you don't belong with amlistaire, you belong with us!"

rainbow death bared her teeth, looking from her gravely wounded teammate, to her once best frend. "NEVER!" she said, and flew into the air. "you want to stop malistaire so badly? fine then! come to his lair, in the heart of the dying world, dragonspyre! see you in the fiery pits of hell!" she said. "oh... and a parting gift," she said, and cast helephant on twiligjt! then cast a teleportation spell and both she and the dying wraith vasnished.

"gasp!" said twilight as the giant elephant demon prepared to swung it's blade at her!

"no, TWI!" apple jack said, and jumped in front of the attack ant took it for twilight.

"APPLEJACK!" twilight shouted, rushing to her friend's limp orange silhouette on the ground.

END OF CHAPTEWR FIVE~


	6. Licking Our Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there! anothjer chapter for my little twilight is hot off the presses! :D well not quite, i actually wrote this the other day but forgot to publish it... so here it is now! enjoy! c:

chapter six: lciking our wounds

twilight watched helplessly as the ravenwood school nurse bandaged up applejack on the bed before her.

the room was quet. tense. the only sounds one could hear were apple jack's breathing, and the cloth bandages spiraling around her leg. her torso had alreayd been bandaged and tied up in a nice big bow (courtesy of rarity).

"twilight," ambrose began, leaning over to look at twiglight, gently. "i wont be mad... can you tell me what happened?"

twilight looked up at him. tears welled in her eyes. "... i"

"twilight?!" cried a familair voice. ambrose and wrilight wipped around. princess celsestia was marching proudly into the ifurmary.

"celestia, my student," said mabrose, reaching out to take her goof and welcome her. "it's wonderful to see you again."

"the feeling is mutual, my beloved teacher," celestia said warmly, but sighed. "i just wish it were under better circumstances. she walked over to twilight. "twilight, you are not suppose to be here. this was all a big mistake. gather your friends and come back to ponyville."

"what?!" said twilight, surprised. she jumped up from her seat. to face celsetia. "but... but you were the one who sent me here in the first place! why would you want me to come back?"

"i... i wasn't thinking. you really shouldnt be here," said celestia.

"but, princess celestia! you can't!" her voice was starting to rise.

"twilight," celestia growled, "this was a mistake. you are coming back to canterlot with me this instant. grab your friends, you're leaving."

"now, girls, calm down-" ambrose tried to inject.

"no!" twilgiht demanded, stamping her hoof. "i am NOT leaving!"

"twilight sparkle, i am your princess and mother, and you will obey my orders!" celestia boomed.

"why? you weren't my mother until twenty four hours ago!" twilight snapped.

celestia boiled for a few moments. "FINE!" she said, before bolting out of the small building.

twilight stood, heaving, gritting her teeth. ambros set his hand on her shoulder. "twilight, your mother has a reason for not wanting you to continue your jounrey here." he said.

"i mean no disresepct, headmaster, but... what good reason could she have?" twilight asked.

"well... whatever it could be, it is important enough to her to cause her to want to keep you away from this place."

twilight looked down. "i... i didn;t mean to yell at her like that."

"she knows" said ambrosse, "and she still loves you." he patted her shoulder like a good pony. unfortunately he didn't have any carrots to give her. but... "perhaps you should go talk to her."

"i don't think that's a good idea," twilight said. "i think i need a little air."

"okay," said ambrose, "but i want you to talk to her before you and your friends go to dragonspyre. it's a dangerous place, and if you're set on going there, she'll appreciate it if you talk to her first."

"okay" said twilight and she left applejack's side.

when she left and ambrose left and the nurse went on her lunch break, rsarity snuck into the room, and satdown next to applejack.

she stifled a sob. "oh, applejack..." she said, slowly and carefully stroking her ponyfriend's shoulder, well away form the bandages. "i'm so sorry."

rarity crossed her forelegs on applejack's bed and rested her still applejack hatted head down on them. she sighed. "applejack... i don't know if you can hear me... but... im so scared." applejack didnt stir so rarity continued. "do you remember when i first arrived in ponyville? uck, im sorry.. im rambling" beat "but, i'll go on... when i first arrived in ponyville, and was walking through town... i'd never been around so many coiuntruy folk. they were all dusty and muddy and moldy and there i was, clean as a whistle, with my designer bags and hauling them through town to get to my new store/house, because that's why i was walking through town in case you never knew..." beat "and i just so happened to walk past sugarcuvbe corne, and one of my mane bows fell out. so i bent over to pick it up, and you came barrelling out of the place, and swung the door into my hindquarters. i fell face first into the dirt, and my bag was forced into the ground. then i felt something flutter onto my head. i turned over and saw that it was your hat that fell off your head in the confusion, and onto mine. you were so apoloigectic... and i snapped at you that you ruined my bag. i got up and dusted myself off, then threw your hat back at you and said, "but you can keep your ugly dandruff pocket."" beat. rarity smiled, and looked down at applejack. tears splotted down into her flank. "i'd seen you several times around town after that, purposefully avoinding you... but... after a little while... okay, a LONG while... my resentment, became adoration."

rarity began tracing the muscle lines on applejack's shoulder. "i'd see you saunter down the street, with the kind of confidence that's hard to find even in models... swaying your blonde mane side to side. i would be entranced. your form, your poise... your musculature... it was like a statue. but a moving one." beat " i was head over heels, but i couldn't approach you, not after how our introduction went! so i stuck to admiring you from afar, and squeezing every ounce of information from our mutual friends. what you liked, how you were doing... sigh, i can't tell you how ecstatic i was when we both became friends with twilight and started seeing each other on a regular bassis, and how you eventually forgave me for my behavior that day in front of sugarcube corner." rarity sighed. she looked at her friend. more tears rolled down her horse face. "i... i just wish i could've told you how much i love you sooner..." devastated, rarity slumped down onto the bed, crying into her hooves.

"... rarity," came a weak reply from in front of her. rarity lifted her head, sniffling. apple jack was awake, and turning over!

"a-applejack!" rarity squeaked, delighted. "did... did you hear what i said?"

"yeah," she said, "i've been awake this whole time."

"so... what do you think?" rarity said, a little afraid.

"rarity..." applejack began, "... i'm straight."

"... oh." rarity said, a little crushed.

"but," applejack said, slowly gathering her friend's hooves in hers, "i... i wouldn't mind trying something new."

rarity beamed brighter than the diamonds she worked with.

meanwhile, twilight was sitting on the dock in the commons, mulling over everything in her head. fluttershy and pinkue psi were out eating lunch in town, but twilight wasnt hungry for human food and stayed to brood over her own reflection.

soon, another reflection joined hers. "your mother's in my office, twilight," said headmaster ambrose.

"okay," said twilight, nervous.

"i already talked a litle bit with her," ambrose assured. "we can say i warmed her up a bit for you." he smiled.

"was she upset?" twilight asked.

"she was positivley steaming when i first sat down with her," he explained. "she kept pacing back and forth in front of my desk, talking about you. i let her blow off her steam, then when she gave up and sat down, i gave my own argument for you. i told her that you're a grown mare now, and, most of all, the spiral desperately needs you in this up and coming threat."

"wow," said twilight. "thanks. what... what did she say?"

"nothing, really," he sighed. "i think she still needs you to finally break the ice."

"well," twilight said, standing and smiling, "if the spiral really needs me... i'll do it."

"atta filly!" ambrose cheered, and showed her to his office. he went in through another door so as to give them some privacy.

"princess celestia?" twilight said, softly. celestia picked up her head, and looked at her.

the princess sighed. "hello, twilight." she looked slightly ashamed, as did twilight.

twilight sat down in a chair on the other side of the room. both ponies were quiet. they made quick, uncomfortable glances at each toerh until princess celestia spoke up. "headmaster ambrose told me about rainbwo dash," she said. "i'm very sorry."

"thank you, princess," twilight said, hanging her head.

"he also told me that you're planning on going to dragonspyre."

"princess," twilight began before celestia could argue, " i... i don't know what happened here that you feel every need to keep me away. i understand, though, that you're worried... and i respect your feelings." twilight swallowed. "but... mom..."

celestia looked up at her student turned daughter. twilight continued. "i need you to respect my wishes, too. i've got two friends in trouble, ad i need to do everything i can to help them. they mean everything to me. and, if your hesitance to let me continue here is in some way related to me..." celestia flinched a little. "... then it's only fair to me to learn more about myself."

"twilight," celestia said, trembling, "i just... i don't want you to get hurt."

"i'm capable, mom. you know that."

"that's not what i mean," celestia said, standing and walking over to her daughter. she placed her hoof on her shoulder. "twilight, there are things that i haven't told you yet... things i wish i never had to."

"things... about my father?" twilight asked.

slowly, celestia nodded. "if... when... you learn, i don't want you getting hurt. but... i understand. you're much too inquisitive, there's no way i could ever hide anything from you." celestia smiled, tears glittering in her eyes. "just like him..."

twilight's eyes grew wider. celestia stepped back. "you have my blessing, daughter. all i want is for you to promise me, promise me, that you'll be careful around malistaire."

twilight nodded, choking back her tears. "i promise."

with her mother finally on her side, twilight gathered pinkie, rarity, and fluttershy. ambrose gave them dragonspyre's spiral key, and they were led inside bartleby, who had this huge freakin door inside him to other worlds for some reason. it was probably very annoying.

twilight used the spiral key to open the door, revealing a swirling red vortex. ambrose and company, and celestia, wished the mares luck. they thanked them, and stepped into tje vortex.

END OF CHAPTER SIX~


	7. Dragonspyre Calling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aloha! another chatper of malistaire is magic for you! just one more and the whole story is done. c: thank you all so much for reading, it means so much to me! in this chapter we finally get to dragonspyre whew i can't believe we've finally made it! i also say whew because i had chili today and well let's just say my room could use an airing out haha. also slight warning for violence in this chapter, there's a fight scene, but it's not too horrible, it's not really graphic or snything, just thought i'd give a heads up. okay enough rambling go ahead and read it and hopefully enjoy it! :D

chapter seven: dragonspyre calling

twilight ad company stepped out of the red portal and were immediately overcome with shock. dragonspyre was in really bad shape, like bulk biceps when he has too many cheat days. well, if bulk biceps was an entire world with crumbpling buildings and an active volcanom, and hundreds of monsters crawling around his body like VIRUSES, like something out of somosis jones, and hundreds of spiders. oh great. MORE SPIDERS

"wow... this place doesn't look good!" said fluttershy. they even saw dr. whooves running up the ramp to the door and into the portal, saying "i'm running for my life!" even he wasn't brave enough.

the mares walked down into the basilica, which is an offshoot of silicon valley. there, they found profssor cyrus!

"prof cyrus?" pinkae said, confused? "what are you doing here?" in the light form the flowing lava, she could easily see how chimplike his face was.

"i'm here because malisataire is my brother, and i'm going to help you get to him," coyrus explained, pulling a banana out of his pocket and eating it.

"oh, cool!" pinkie said excitedly. she couldn't wait to impress her professor!

"so, professor drake," twilight said, "can you take us there now?"

"certainly," said cyrus.

"oh, not quite!" croaked a familiar voice. the mares turned around to see professor halston balestrom hopping after them. he'd apparently followed them through the door from ravenwood!

"halston?" cyrus asked. "what are you doing here?"

"im going to exact my revenge on you, drake, for stealing what could have been my greatest student!" the frog said angrily.

"professor balestrom, i would've loved to have been your student, but you said that i would be better suited for storm!" twilight argued.

"not you!" halston snapped. he pointed at pinkie pie. "the one who blew the fartleby! this pink pony released the most devastating meteorological phenomenon wizard city has ever seen, and you, cyrus, TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!" the frog crept up to cyrus, pointing his cane at the man's throat.

"now, now, halston, calm down," cyrus tried to reason with the diminutive amphibian, walking backward and waving his hands in the air "is lsing a student really a good reason to become physically threatening?"

"YES!" halston croaked again and his tongue darted out to catch a passing fly. all the mares went, "EWWWWWW"

"even if i hadn't chosen myth, i wouldn't have chosen storm just because you're so gross!" pinkie exclaimed.

halston whipped his head around. "WHY, YOU INSOLENT-"

cyrus took the oppprtunty to pick up halston, the frog croaking madly the whole time. cyrus screamed for a short moment before hurling his fellow profsor into the boiling lava. halston quickly cooked upon hitting it and exploded in a bounty of frog's legs all over the basilica.

"well, sheee-yoot!" cheered prospector zeke. "hey, eloise! break out the greens - dinner's come early!"

the mares watched in stunned horror at the shower of frogs legs. fluttershy even got a little hungry watching them and bit her tingue.

"professor? are you alright?" pinkie asked, looking at cyrus, who then suddenly collapsed!

"professor drake?" the ponies cried, concerned.

"urgh," cyrus grunted. he grabbed his leg. there was a small dot of blood forming under his robes. "that blasted frog stabbed me with his cane - it mustve contained poison dart frog poison. ive been poisoned" he surmised.

"oh no!" pinkie cry.

"i think i'll be alright," cyrus said, standing with flutershy's help. "if... if we hurry and get to the great spyre, then straight back to ravenwood, i don';t think it'll be fatal."

"well then let'sgo!" said twilight, and cyrus pointed them to a portal. they ran through it and wound up in another academy.

"this is dragonspyre academy," cyrus explained. "it was the first magic school. ravenwood is it's counter-aah!" he gasped, grasping his body and lurching.

"professor?" pinkie asked, scared.

shaking, cyrus steadied himself. "we attended here... together..." he said, looking at the ruins.

the group hurried over to a young dragon with a basket strapped to his back, poor thing. "oh please, just kill me." he said.

"greetings, kind dragon," twilight said, having a soft spot for the dragon because of spike. she also rememered that she, too, had forgotten to feed him before she left. "would you kindly fly us up to the top of this volcano? we need to get up there... urgently."

"no," the dragon whined. "im done carrying people around. im only twenty and my back's already fubared."

twilight's brow furrowed. but fluttresht walked up ot the dragon and said nicely, "hello mr dragon! my, what beautiful red scales you have! they look ust like rubies!"

"uh, thanks, lady." said the dragon.

"you said your back was hurt? i'm experienced in animal massage, maybe i could help you!'

"err, i'm not so sure," the dragon said, shy.

"think nothing of it!" flutterxhy said, and walked onto the dragon's back and started walking.

"wait, wait, you're gonna - ooooooo!" said the dragon, who started to relax. he practicaly melted on the sidewalk. a big grin spread across his face as the little yellow pegasus worked out all the knots and bunions from his back, and the noises of cracks and pops echoed across the deserted campus.

"you're such a nice dragon!" fluttershy said sweetly.

"wow," said cyrus. "ive never seen anyone so gifted with animals before."

after a few minutes, flutterhsy got off the relaxed and happy dragon. "feel better?"

"yes, very much!" the dragon flexed his wings. "aaaah, i haven't felt this good in ages! thank you, yellow one. as a token of my grstitude, i will fly you and your friends up to the spire!" he said. "oh, and mr dragon was my father. call me ralph."

"thank you, ralph!" thanked twilight. "let's go, girls!"

everyone climbed intot he basket on ralph's back, and he flew them through volcanic caverns and up to a dock on the spire. the mares got out, waved goodbye to ralph, and entered malistaire's labyrinth.

it was dark and humid inside, and rarity stayed on her guard, just in case they came across david bowie.

"i wonder where malistaire could be," said twilight,

"he'll probably be in the crown of fire, at the very top," cyrus explained before coughing and grunting a pained breath.

the mares made theirt way further up the volcano, past wraiths, mini dragons, snd more spiders. but unfortunately during the trip fluttershy stepped on a tarantula. and goop went everywhere, epecially on cyrus' face, and he glared at fluttershy. but his dry old man skin absorbed the goop, and did you know tarantulars are venomous? because they are and the venom added to the poison and cyrus started getting sicker by the second. they had to hurry.

after several hours of navigating the tricky, rocky volcano halls, and fighting numerous enemies, the ponies and the professor finally reached the bigass doors to the crown of fife. after rarity placed a crystal on a astand the doors opened and they went inside. after going through a series of bigass doors they reached a room with a dragon looking inside, and... standing across the rom... was malistaire fockin' drake, with rainbwo death standing by his side, her arms wrapped around him. they looked at the group with a mixture of hatred anmd sultryness, like a lot of evildoers do.

"hello, twilight sparkle." hissed malostufe. :i see you're not alone... you've brought your friends.. and my brother, cyrus."

as if on queue, cyrus staggered from the poison and the venom and the volcanic ash in the air and fluttershy helped him, scared. "hah hah, who seems to be quite the worse for wear." said malistware.

"cut the crap, malistaire!" twilight snapped. "you will never take equestrias magic - my friends and i have arrived to stop you once and for all!"

"seems you're one short." malistaire, arching his brow.

"yeah," twilight said, mad, "that's because YOU TURNED OUR FRIEND RAINBOW DASH AGAINST US AND SHE CAST HELEPHANT AT ME, BUT APPLEJACK TOOK IT INSTEAD, NOW SHE's DYING IN A HOSTIPAL BED IN RAVENWOID!"

rainbow death's face fell slightly. did she look... concerned? surprised? regretful? regardless, malistaire cakcled. it was... hhhot. "hah hah hah! helephant! i'm proud of you, my pupil~" he said, "as for YOU," he bellowed down at the other ponies, "it's because of you that i've lost my closest confidante, my old right hand man... my greatest friend."

twilighjt widened her eyes, sadly. "lord nightshade...?"

"he's DEAD!" malistaire yelled. "he died from his wounds!"

twilight couldn't sya she didn't feel remorse. the doddering necromancer clearly felt a strong friendshup with the winged skeleton, and, being a strong proponent of friendhsip herself, she couldn't bear the thought of ending one by death from her own hoives. "that's it!" twilight shouted, and flew up into the sky, and zapped amlistare with her horn. the old man shriekd and looked like he was getting an xray, and rainbow death watched, torn between helping her new partner in crime or helping her friends, one of whom she just learned was dying in a hoispitoil bed in ravenwood. gritting her teeth, she flew over and knocked twoilight out of the air.

the purple unicorn slammed into a stone wall, leaving a giant crack and a cloud of dusht. the dragon coiled around the voilcano started to awoken.

"twilight!" pinkie gasped. she looked at her professor. cyrus nodded. "i'll be alright. go help her." he said, and pinkie galloped over to her friend. twilight was unconscious. she glared up at malistaire. "you're gonna pay for this, you wrinkled old focking!" she yelled, and ran up to him and bit his arm.

"YEAOUWCH!" he screamed.

rarity joined in by fighting rainbow death, flinging sharp diamonds at her once friend, but rainbow death was spry and spunky and deflected them with ease. flittershy settled cyrus down on the ground against a wall and, once she was certain he was safe, flew off to help pinkie.

malistaire grabbed his dragon rider staff and bopped pinkie in the face, causing her to fall off his arm, but she had already chewed a pretty large hole in his robes.

"gasp! pinkie pie!" fluttershy said, and snapped her tail at malisatire's face.

"AAAHH!" he screamed, grabbing his face in pain. (horse tails to the face hurt. a lot. be careful next time you pick a horses hooves, readers.)

rainbow death swooped down and kicked rarity in the belly, and she slammed into a wall as well. rainbow flew over to malistaire and used her wing power to blow fluttershy away.

"aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" screamed fluttershy in her extremely dainty voice.

twilight's eyelids fluttered open. she was lying in a pool of melted chocolate. she looked at her friends, they were losing!

"g... girls!" she said, weakly. then, before her very eyes...

rarity jumped to her hooves. "TAKE THIS, YOU MAREFRIEND BLASTING COCK!" she screamed, and jumped at rainbwo death, impaling her in the belly with her horn.

"RAINBOW! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" twilight shrieked.

just when thhings started to look their bleakest, two heroes entered the crown of fire: headmaster ambrose and princess celestia!

END OF CHAPTER SEVEN~


	8. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy mother's day! :D in honor of all the moms out there who do fantastic work everyday, AND ONLY THOSE WHO ARE NICE, i'm posting the finale of my little twilight: malistaire is magic! laugh! cry! scream in fear! whatever your reaction while reading, do it with your mom! or maybe not! because this chapter has some adult references! and it offended my own mom! but that's okay! she's used to it! so shield your mom's psyche! and please, enjoy~!

chapter eight: the truth

"twilight!" celestia gasped, and ran to her daughters side.

"oh, what's this?" malistaire said. "princess celestia! i thought you had sent your own daughter in your place while you stayed in your comfy castle."

"you're one to talk, malistaire," celestia sneered. "look at what you've done to that poor filly... turned her into your goon!"

"being my goon isn't the end of the world," malistaire said, and suddenly, his espression went sour. "you seemed to enjoy it."

twilight was horrified. she looked from malistaire to celestia. "p... princess?"

"twilight, i have a confession to make," she said, holding twilight's head in her hooves. "malistaire... is your father."

twilight's eyes went wider than ever before. she started trembling. "wh... but... i... why?!" she asked, crying.

"i will tell you the whole story, twilight sparkle," malisatre said, and began his tale.

"26 years ago, my late wife, sylvia, the life professor before moolinda wu. she was practicing her healing spells, showing them to me. i was always amazed by her prowess, she was the most accomplished wizard i'd ever known, next to ambrose, but i didn't love ambrose, at least not in that way. then, she cast a fairly easy spell, unicornius healthum, and... my life changed forever."

"that's the spell you gave us to come here," twilight said, looking at celestia.

the princess nodded. "it summons a unicorn from equestria to heal a wizard anywhere in the spiral."

malistaire continued. "before me, i saw the most beautiful creature i'd ever seen. tall, slender, and with a multicoloured mane and tail, and the longest horn i'd ever seen. she healed sylvia, and left. and i thought that would be it... but i kept thinking about her. thinking about that unicorn. after that day, i'd sit in on all of sylvia's life practices just to get a glimpse of the creature, until i finally got ahold of a student's unicorn card that had been carelessly left behind in the death classroom - students were constantly losing theier cards. i cast the spell after dark on unicorn way, under the giant unicorn statue. then../. there she was, mane glistening in the moonlight and streetlamps, slowly opening her eyes at me, her lush eyelashes gliding away to reveal the deepest purple eyes."

twilight gasped. she had purple eyes. she got them from her mom.

"i introduced myself... celestia wasn't scared at all to meet a necromancer. she said that any friend of sylvia's was a friend of hers. we became friends rather quickly, and soon i was escaping to unicorn way every night to see my unicorn muse."

"i came across a polymorph spell of cyrus's that would allow celestia to take on human form for a few hours. after that it didn't take long for our relationship to turn sexual. our heated nights of pure pony passion made the mundane days of my professorship easier to bear. we became so close, i even named a world on the wpiral after her. then... one day... sylvia walked in on celestia and i making love in our room. she didnt take it well. we argued, and sylvia threatened to tell ambrose about my frolicking with a focking unicorn of all things. it would have cost me my job, and my wand would have been revoked... i never would have seen celestia again."

"and so you killed her," accused twilight.

"no," celestia said. "i did."

tewilight gasped. celestia continued the story. "i hit sylvia with a spell from my horn, and she got very sick. not even the best life wizards could help her - they tried. i wanted so badly to reverse the spell, but... i knew that if i did, not only would malistaire's job still be on the line, but i was in danger now, too, for attacking a professor. a unicorn has never hurt a human before. she died in a matter of days, and i never told anyone that it was my fault."

"... celestia!" ambrose said, shocked.

"i'm sorry!" celestia begged. "i felt so guilty, and... a few days later... learned that i was pregnant."

"with me?" twilight asked.

"with you." celestia continuted. "malistaire... didn't take kindly to the news. in fact, we hadn't spoken at all since i... attacked sylvia. he was experiencing extreme guilt for having an affair with a unicorn behind his wife's back, which eventually cost both his marriage and his wife... he flew into a rage the last time i saw him, demanding that i never see him again. i left ravenwood for good, gave birth to you, and sent you and your older brother to live with the apple family."

"and the rest is history..." twilight finished. celestia nodded.

"yes," maliastarte said, menacingly, "now that we've finsihed the trip down memory lane... TIME TO DIE, HOMEWRECKER!" he came at celestia and twilight with his staff out.

CLINK!

twilight lookde up. cyrus drake had his own wand out, and was struggling back malistaire's!

"uncle cyrus!" twilight criede.

"RUN!" cyrus shouted.

celestia grabbed twilight and pulled her to saftey. ambrose usedmagic to pull pinkie, fluttershy, and rarity over to him to safety. malistaire kicked cyrus in the gut, causing the myth professor to fall backward and rop his wand.

"GAME OVER, BROTHER!" malistaire said, going in for the kill. twilight started crying. she just learned she had a bald, chimplike uncle, she didn't want to lose him!

then, suddenly... rainbwo death crept up behind malistaire, picking up cyrus' wand. "this is for SYLVIA AND CELESTIA!" she shouted, and stabbed malistaire in the back with it.

"AAARGH!" nekouxheofs siad, falling to the ground, bleeding.

"rainbow!" fluttershy said, reaching out to her friend.

rainbow smiled. "take.. take care of yourselves... and applejack... and tell her... i'm sorry..." she said, before collapsing next to malistaire. they died, side by side, and it started to rain.

malistaire was buried next to the death school, under mortis, the death tree. rainbow jack was buried on the apple family's land, and all her friends and family attended the funeral. ever forgiving, her friends made sure her gravestone said, "RAINBOW DASH: A FIGHTER; A FRIEND."

after a long and grueling recovery period, applejack healed and shared the news of her new romantic relationship with rarity to her family. granny smith was ecstatic.

"well, whaddaya know!" the old pony said. "i sure didn't see that comin', did you, big mac?"

"eeyup" said big mac, and they all laughed.

twilgiht asked princess celestia if shining sentry was malistaire's son, too. celestia explained that no, sentry's father was prince credenza, princess mi amore cadenza's (cadance's) father. so that explained why flurry heart was so darn ugly.

twilight looked the same even when she was ninety. but when she was still young she visited sylvia's grave and laid flowers down on it.

"hi, sylvia," twoiloight said, kicking some dirt, uncomfortable. she said, "i just want to say... i'm sorry. you sounded like a wonderful woman, and i'm just sorry that what happened to you happened."

then, sylvia's ghost came out of her grave. she smoiled at twilight. "twilight sparkle... thank you so much for your kind words. i can rest easier now, knowing my death wasn't in vain." twilight didn't particularly agree, but she smiled because the ghost was happy.

still, twilight just couldn't stay in ponyville any longer. or in canterlot. when malistaire died, the magic he stole from twelight died with him, so she now had only her human magic, and seeing how ravenwood was short a professor, now that halston balestrom was dead, twilight decided to move to wizard city and take up the mantle of storm professor. she named spike chief friendship counsellor in her absence. she said goodbye to her friends and left for her new life.

while twilight was away, pinkie agreed to have sex with discord to help her overcome her fear of mr. cake. unfortunately, princess luna walked in on them, and started screaming. had pinkie not heard the tragic tale of sylvia drake, she would've killed luna on the spot. but she didn't. she killed her marriage, but she didn't kill the princess. later that day she slept with mr. cake. nurse redheart walked in on them but pinkie pie still managed to get pregnant with sextuplets. she gave birth happily and healthily in sugarcube corner's kitchen, whereupon she noticed that only two of the children were mr. cake's, and the rest were discord's.

twilight led a happy life in wizard city. all her students loved her and she even married a zebra game hunter named sir reginald baxby, because she had a thing for italians. the couple had a son, who was turned human during a prank by one of cyrus' students.

one day, though, this same student pulled a prank on bartleby that ended in tragedy, where the grandfather tree exploded, destroying wizard city's only doorway to other worlds on the spiral. twilight cried over the tree's splintered corpse, comforted by her husband and son. she knew she would never see her friends agsain. but, little did she know, that one day her son would manage to visit other worlds...

THE END


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